Doesn't want to or can't? Why is a man not interested in intimacy
There is a rather harmful myth in society that a man is a biorobot who is always ready for exploits in bed, it is only necessary to hint. Because of this stereotype, women often panic when a partner shows a chill, starting to look for problems in their appearance or suspecting the presence of a lover. However, the reality is much more complicated and prosaic: male libido is a subtle, capricious mechanism and highly dependent on what is happening in a person's head and in life outside the bedroom.
The problem of losing interest rarely arises out of thin air and almost never means that love has passed. Most often, this is the body's protective reaction to overloads. The modern world puts pressure on a man to succeed, and sometimes he just doesn't have the energy left to be a hero lover. Sex requires giving, and if it's empty inside, then there's nothing to give.
Stress and cortisol pit
The main enemy of testosterone is not age, but cortisol, the stress hormone. When a man worries about work, debts, loans, or instability, his body goes into "fight or flight" mode, or just "survive." In this state, the reproductive function is disabled as energy-consuming and not a priority for survival. The brain blocks arousal signals because it believes that now is not the time for reproduction, it is a war (albeit a mental one).
A man may not even realize it. He just comes home exhausted, sits down in front of the TV or buries his face in his phone, trying to turn off his thoughts. Any attempt to get closer is perceived by him not as pleasure, but as another task that needs to be completed, another exam that can be failed. And he is most afraid of failures.
Instead of confessing his weakness or fears, he shuts himself down. This creates a wall of silence. The woman sees the indifference, gets offended, starts pushing, and the circle closes. The pressure only increases the stress, and the desire disappears completely.
The Coolidge effect and banal boredom
Nature has designed the male brain so that it reacts very vividly to novelty. This is an ancient evolutionary mechanism. When a relationship becomes completely stable, turning into a routine where every step is predictable for years to come, the dopamine system stops responding. Sex on a schedule, in one position, in the dark under a blanket is a killer of passion.
This does not mean at all that a man has fallen out of love with his partner. He can adore, appreciate and respect her. But the spark of a purely physiological attraction fades if you don't add more firewood. "The eye blurs," the perception of the woman you love becomes familiar, like the furniture in the room. It sounds cynical, but it's biology.
Sometimes it's enough to change the context to solve a problem. Go to a hotel for the weekend, try something new, just change the scenario of the evening. But often people are too lazy or shy to discuss their fantasies for fear of appearing perverted or offending their partner. Silence kills passion faster than time.
Physiology and hidden problems
Purely medical aspects should not be discounted either. Testosterone levels in modern men begin to fall earlier than in previous generations. Sedentary lifestyle, fast food, excess weight, vascular problems — all this affects potency and, as a result, desire. If the mechanism malfunctions, the man will avoid intimacy purely psychologically, so as not to face failure.
Often, decreased libido can be a symptom of incipient diabetes, hypertension, or hormonal failure. But getting a man to see a doctor is a hardcore level quest. They will endure to the last, blaming everything on fatigue.
It is important to understand that the absence of sex is a signal, a red light on the dashboard. There is no need to make scandals or look for the guilty. You need to sit down and talk, or go to specialists, and preferably together. Support and understanding work better than beautiful underwear and reproaches. Огненные сцены уже здесь – жми спасибо источнику и наслаждайся.
